Book Review: It's (not that) Complicated

It’s (not that) Complicated

This may be one of the most difficult times to live in in terms of boy/girl relationships. That’s why It’s (not that) Complicated comes at such an opportune time for young ladies. In this book, Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin explore many different angles of young ladies relationships, focusing in on their relationships with guys. They answer many common questions regarding these relationships, and base their well-versed teachings on scripture. The ideas that they present to young ladies are made in a very coherent and easy-to-learn manner.

I loved this book- I thought it was a lot better than the girls’ first book, So Much More, which I felt was gave more of a message to the effect of “this is the right way- do this, this and this”. I didn’t dislike So Much More, I just didn’t like it as much as this book. It’s (not that) Complicated gives more general guidelines and scripture verses and lets the reader decide how to apply them based on the individual.

Reading this book definitely got me very motivated to improve my relationships, not just with guys, but with everyone. On the other hand, if you are already depressed or thinking of your Total Depravity, this book will not improve your self-image. Anna and Elizabeth have a lot to say to young ladies, and a lot of it is very convicting and right-on.

I couldn’t really say that I had a particular part that I enjoyed, or something that was especially convicting. However, I did like what they had to say about your relationships with your brothers- when they open the chapter with “Now, some of you might be thinking...”, I must admit that they caught me redhanded. It also hit me when they said that you need to improve your family relationships because your husband is going to be your family. As much as you would like to think that your relationship with him will be all happy-go-lucky, it won’t. Now you may think that I’m crazy, but I never really thought about it like that before. A lot of us girls are more than willing to “skip” the family relationships, and work on other relationships. We have to ask ourselves, why? Is it maybe because our family will never stop loving us, while others could? Or is it maybe because your friend relationships are more “fun”? Or, how about, because your family relationships bring out the worst in you? Anna and Elizabeth say that who you are at your worst is who you really are. This taught me that just because I’m my “best” around others, that doesn’t mean that that’s who I am. The true “me”, the one that I need to work on, is what comes out when I am with those closest to me. I realized the truth in the fact that the people that it is sometimes that most difficult to be with are the ones who most sanctify you.

I find that this book is applicable to everyday life, which is something that I always enjoy; because so much of what they say is about the struggles of the heart, something that we deal with every day. It is really just a choice that we make every day to do the right thing, day after day, situation after situation. Also, I did enjoy that this was an easy read. I think that I finished it in about two weeks. It also does not take an advanced reader to be able to comprehend their message.

Something that I disliked was that the authors never really said that they had struggled with these things. They were not rude, but sometimes (not all of the time) it came across as “We don’t really struggle with this”.

Would I recommend It’s (not that) Complicated? Definitely. This is probably a book that I will revisit sometime in the future. After reading this book, I felt that all was not hopeless, and felt that I could work at improving my relationships with guys. It will always be a struggle, but I feel confident that, with God’s help, I will be victorious. This is my parting advice: if you are a young lady, actually any lady- read this book. You will benefit from it, even if you think that “You’ve got it all down”.

(I apologize if my thoughts are a bit choppy, I wrote this several times, but for some reason, it did not want to come out right ;))